Phillip's Phunnies - Why Men Are Happier Than Women

A merry heart does good, like medicine... Proverbs 17:22

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can never be pregnant.
(Take my word for it - this is a picture of a man!
And no, he is not pregnant.)

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.