Phillip's Phunnies - More Puns
A merry heart does good, like medicine... - Proverbs 17:22
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his hometown for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?" The waiter says, "Well, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
A neutron goes into an ice cream shop asks, "How much for two-scoops?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive."
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocaine during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows readers digest and writers cramp.
Two eggs are talking in a monastary. "I really don't like it here," says one. "Why not?" "Well, you know, it's always 'Out of the frying pan and into the friar'."
What is a frog's favorite thing to order at a restaurant? French Flies!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Two American Football teams are on a tour of Europe and have a quiz to see which team can name most places in Holland. The game was won by a single Dutch Town.
He said he'd grown strong from all his dancing, but no-one believed him. It was obvious to all that he was bearing waltz fitness.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his hometown for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?" The waiter says, "Well, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
A neutron goes into an ice cream shop asks, "How much for two-scoops?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive."
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocaine during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows readers digest and writers cramp.
Two eggs are talking in a monastary. "I really don't like it here," says one. "Why not?" "Well, you know, it's always 'Out of the frying pan and into the friar'."
What is a frog's favorite thing to order at a restaurant? French Flies!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Two American Football teams are on a tour of Europe and have a quiz to see which team can name most places in Holland. The game was won by a single Dutch Town.
He said he'd grown strong from all his dancing, but no-one believed him. It was obvious to all that he was bearing waltz fitness.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
posted by Phillip M. Way | 12:00 PM
2 Comments:
Where DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you get these things, Pastor Way?
It's called G-O-O-G-L-E !
:)
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