Phillip's Phunnies - Cars

A merry heart does good, like medicine... - Proverbs 17:22

After this week, if a merry heart is as good as medicine, then I need a good long laugh!! Here is a look at a few interesting tidbits dealing with the world of cars.

Did you here about the feminist group that wanted to segregate parking lots according to gender? They demanded a separate parking lot for women complete with women attendants so that no men would be involved at all in the parking of their cars. The result?



Of course, there was also a lot for men only, but there were no signs, no directions, and no map showing the men where to park. If men were to park here they would have had to ask directions! The result?



Ad Campaigns Gone Wrong

Chevy - "Built Like a Rock", and sounds like its full of 'em.
Chevy - "We'll be there", right where you left it.
Chevy - "The Heartbeat of America", CLEAR!......again......CLEAR!

Ford - If "Quality is Job 1", we need to start over!
Ford - "A Better Idea", buy a Toyota!

Pontiac - "Designed for Action", do as I say, not as I do.
Pontiac - "We build excitement", you never know what's going to break next!

Oldsmobile - "There’s a special feel in an Oldsmobile", sitting still in style.

GMC Trucks - "We Are Professional Grade", too bad we flunked.

What's in a Name

Chevy Nova - in Spanish "nova" means "it's won't go."

Dodge Ram - The name sums up the accident avoidance safety measures (ie. braking methods). Either you dodge, or you ram.

Odd car names that we are not sure what they mean - (yes, these are real names of automobiles) Cayenne, Kahuna, Tribeca, Touareg, Kubang, Aztek, etc.

Then there are the cars that are named with only letters and numbers - xA, xB, OLV, ST, FX45, RS300, LS430, S4, SRX, U, TT, M, 92, XLR, SLK, and so forth and so on...

The Companies that Make the Cars

And did you ever wonder about the names of our car companies? Someone did a little research, and made these discoveries:

ACURA - Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead

AUDI - Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW - Big Money Works, or Bavarian Money Waster, or Big Man Wannabe

BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CADILLAC - Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions, or Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars

CAMARO - Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

CHEVROLET - Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time, or Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

CHRYSLER - Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair, or Can't Have Refund, You're Stuck Leasing Edsel's Replacement

DODGE - Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere, or Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater

FIAT - Found In A Trashcan , or Fix it again, Tony!

FORD - Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation , or Fix Or Repair Daily, or Fast Only Rolling Downhill

FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot

GM - General Maintenance

HYUNDAI - Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive

JEEP - Just Expect Every Problem

KIA - Keep It Away, or Korean Industrial Accident, or Kick It Again

LINCOLN - Lousy Implementation, Not Cars Of Luxurious Nature

MAZDA - Made After Zero Design Analysis

MERCURY - Many Endless Rattles Create Uncomfortable Road Yacht

MITSUBISHI - Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete

OLDSMOBILE - Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment

SAAB - Sad Attempt At Beauty, or Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown

SATURN - Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed

VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object